Blog - Paper 1 Question 1
(a)
April 19, 2022
Dear Mr. President,
I have recently seen a news report on an Australian news website concerning the fire that destroyed the Notre-Dame cathedral in Paris and the fire that has been ravaging the Amazon forest. The news report brought up the fact that the Amazon has been burning for three weeks with barely any response.
When Notre-Dame was crippling and in despair, the billionaires, celebrities, and donors known by the name, so-called heroes, rose through the ragged rubble and donated ridiculous amounts of money in only two days. And this was made possible by the sheer quickness of news reporting on the event with only three minutes passing by before the whole world knew.
The Amazon meanwhile has the ability to produce 20 percent of Earth’s oxygen. Despite this, the forest was left to burn as if it were hell. Regular everyday people however saw the importance of the forest and sought to spread the information on Twitter. Just as the newspaper report said, there’s no point in preserving history without the planet.
I reached you in hopes of getting a solution for the Amazons. Since you are a powerful person that could make this change.
(b)
My letter has a different form from the news report. This is seen by the letter including a date and a salutation and closing which is typical of a letter form. While the news report had a heading and very small paragraphs with a fast fact section which is more typical of the news report form. Therefore, this difference in form leads to a difference in target audience and structure. For example, the letter has a target audience of the French President while the news report has a more general audience since the news report is more targeted at subscribers of the Australian news website and typical Australians or people in general looking for news on the event.
The structure of both forms is a little subtle. The news report has smaller paragraphs as opposed to the letter with more medium sized paragraphs.
The tones are different in both texts. For example, the news report has a professional and objective/rational tone of voice. This can be seen through the direct reporting of facts such as “one billion dollars”and “another horrific fire”. Since there is no emotion behind the mention of the amount of money raised. And the fires themselves most importantly were treated as equally horrific which is seen by the usage of the term ‘another’. In contrast, the tone in my letter is more straightforward in supporting one side with passion. There is sarcasm in the statement I made, “so-called heroes” that displays my anger with the events occurring. This clearly opposes the tone from the news report which is rational and objective.
The tone is also very formal in both cases since the news report has to be seen by the audience as being objective and knowledgeable while the letter has to be formal for a similar reason which is to meet the tone of formality that needs to be met when talking with a government official like the French President.
I use a lot of figurative language in my letter. For example, I use a metaphor which is seen by ‘so-called heroes’. I compare the billionaires and celebrities and ‘generous’ donors to being ‘so-called’ heroes since I want to convey the fact that I am being sarcastic and not sincere. This is to further show my point of view in my letter. I also used personification in my letter which is seen by my usage of “in despair” to describe the Notre-Dame burning down as if it were a person in order to increase the impact of the fire. I wanted to place more importance on the Notre-Dame so that I can simulate what happened in actual everyday life; where the Notre-Dame burning down garnered more attention then the Amazons burning down.
AO1:You had a detailed understanding of the text with putting information from the article and adding upon it. You also had an effective reference to the characteristic features.
ReplyDeleteAO2:You had a sophisticated expression with a high level of accuracy. I liked your grammar throughout which was very descriptive and had a positive effect on the letter. Your content also stayed relevant throughout.
b)AO1:You showed a sophisticated understanding of the text in your analysis. You did well comparing the text to the original news article. You also had insightful references to the characteristic features having multiple example and good explanations.
AO3:The analysis is detailed, coherent, and effectively structured. You had insightful selection of elements of form, structure, and language. I like how you organized your analysis as well having multiple paragraphs as well as organizing the information. You had a sophisticated awareness of the stylistic choices and your language throughout was precise.
21/25
AO1)
ReplyDeleteThe writer shows detailed understanding of meaning by describing who, what, and where in the first paragraph, then answers context and audience by addressing ¨dear Mr.President¨
Also addresses an effective reference to characteristic features of the text/. For tis i will give you an AO1 score of 4 marks.
AO2 -
The content is relevant to the audience and purpose as it develops over time with the proper usage of words and phrases that address his audience. I liked that it was clearly on topic but it wasn't super effective so it got a total of 3 marks . However the expression was effective and there were minor errors that impeded communication.
Total 7 points
Question 2
A01 -
Cory shows clear comparative understanding of meaning, context, and audience by quoting and referring to previous writing and also has effective reference to characteristic features. For this I will give you a total of 3 marks.
AO3 -
Cory provides detailed comparative analysis of elements of form structure and languages and provides differences in each excerpt between his analysis. He also provides an analysis on how the writer's stylistic choices relate to the audience and how they provide a clear view in the writing.